A few years ago, after cancelling Comcast Cable and living without it for two years, I decided to bring it back, thinking television and movies might have changed and become worth watching again-
I called Comcast.
But the Comcast Lady was confused. "We have you down as deceased", she said.
Obviously. For only dead people cancel their cable.
I was thinking of getting rid of it again. Anything I want to watch is on Hulu a day later. For free.
Then the lease renewal letter came, and my rent increase was not the usual 25 dollars. My rent was going up $125.00. My landlords were now graciously providing me and everyone else with wireless Internet and U-Verse Cable.
Wireless Internet is most welcome in my house, for Comcast kept me tethered to a short leash,and there was no blogging possible on the porch or the kitchen table. I was trapped.
Now, I can roam!
I am ambivalent about the cable. U-verse provides 300 channels, including 90% of the "premiums". Unfortunately it does not have the real time Weatherscan radar channel, which I check more than any other, since I spend so many mornings in other peoples' gardens working and really need to know when thunderstorms loom-
I guess U-Verse thought I needed a little black, superfluous box more than I needed radar or the Hallmark Channel. They sent a DVR.
I do not need a DVR to record programs from 300 unwatched channels. If I want to watch "Grimm" (and I might), and if I miss it, I can watch it on the computer a day later. I told the U-Verse lady in Miami that I did not want the DVR. "But it's included in the package!" she protested, probably knowing she was dealing with another cranky old resident of Codgerville.
"You are going to love that", a friend said.
No, I am not. It is just another thing that needs to be dusted. I have just spent a month clearing out the clutter and leaving it down at the trash station for people anxious to add more clutter and do-dadery to their lives. I gave away old picnic baskets, a year's worth of food magazines, plant stands, pointless vases, baskets- Many treasures left for the lucky at that dumpster. My tiny apartment had been stuffed with stuff like a pinata. Every time I moved or turned around I bumped something or knocked something off or down.
And just as I have achieved a decor somewhere between Bohemian cozy and Scandinavian Sparse, this little, black, unwanted box moves in.
It is going to have a lonely life.